Prison Rat
by ElesaryAyres
Summary: At 20 and 25, Mindy and Dave are finally figuring out how to balance their alter-egos and their lives. That is, until a certain rat crawls out of the woodwork and the FBI start closing in, forcing them to choose between being Kick-Ass and Hitgirl, or Dave Lewinsky and Mindy McCready.


Dave

Thursday, January 22

12:11 AM

Mindy and I were out patrolling the streets of New York City. Or rather, staking out one particular block, which housed one particular drug den. That drug den was my assignment for the night.

The plan was simple: I go in all by myself and kill them all. I had less than five minutes.

It was one of those plans that Mindy like to call 'fun'.

I walked to the fire escape. "Wish me luck," I called over my shoulder.

Mindy didn't even look up from her sniper rifle. "If you needed luck I wouldn't be sending you in. Besides, I got you covered." She patted the gun affectionately. I rolled my eyes and climbed down till I hit the street.

I took my time to loosen up and make sure that my weapons were where and how I wanted them. The druggies would be impaired and slow, but there would be a lot of them, and not even Mindy could shoot all of them at once.

When I was ready, I tapped on the door with the barrel of my handgun. A big, burly man opened it a crack. I immediately shoved it against his head. I backed him through the door and kicked it shut behind me. "Hi," I said, and fired.

The room was a mess, hazy with smoke and heavy with the stench of drugs, sex and sickness. Blissed out people lay in clumps next to piles of guns and drugs. A group of thugs sat in a corner playing poker. They leapt to attention as I fired my gun and reached for their own.

I shot the single, naked light bulb that sent flickering light across the walls. I used the sudden darkness to close the distance to the ringleaders.

Fighting in the dark was tricky, Mindy and I had spent six months in pitch darkness so I could learn how to track my enemies without being able to see them. I grabbed the first man by the hair and used the flat of my palm to shove his facial bones into his brain.

As he fell, one of his colleagues clumsily brushed against me. His yell of discovery was cut short by the crushing force of my elbow. He went down but the others had converged on me.

The next few minutes devolved into a mess of limbs and blows that landed more on each other than on me. I reached behind me and grasped my batons. I swung them around and hit one guy into another, incapacitating them as I turned to the final drug lord.

His skull broke with an audible crunch under my hit.

I turned back to the collapsed figures and slit one of their throats. The other woke to the hot rush of blood from his companion. I wiped my knife clean on his face. "I want a name." I said quietly. "Who supplies you?"

He told me quickly and I granted him a painless death.

The hairs on the back of my neck stood up. I spun, already flinging the knife when my mind caught up with my body. Only Mindy could cause such awareness in me without making a sound.

"Jesus, Kick-Ass!" Mindy swore, opening the door to glare at the knife quivering in the plaster inches from her face. "I mean, fuck! You almost skewered me!" she looked me up and down. "Good shot."

I grinned at her and imagined skewering her later. You replying smirk let me know she followed my train of thought.

"Lets go home," she suggested, grabbing my hands and heading out the door. We cleaned off as much blood as we could from our leather before we got into Mist-Mobile. "You did good," she said, climbing into the front seat. "I'm really proud of you, even my daddy would have been impressed." She shot me a misty smile, her expression a mix of grief and pride as she spoke of her father.

I gripped her hand in support of her grief and watched the city fly by. The police would search the den when they discovered it was destroyed, but Mindy and I were very good at cleaning up our messes. They would know Kick-Ass and Hit-Girl had been there, but would have no way to connect them back to Dave Lewinsky and Mindy Mcready.

The safe house looked the same as it had years ago when Mindy had converted it from warehouse to base of operations, but it felt different. Over the years it had become a home, both to me and to Mindy.

The hallway contained the uniforms we had outgrown and those of our fallen comrades; it opened into the clean training area with its large mat and weapons wall. The kitchen was next, stocked with enough food and water to last for weeks and behind that was the bedroom. That was literally what it was, a massive room with a massive bed. We didn't need much, and we had found that we required more open spaces than kitschy knick-knacks or useless furniture.

"Watching you take down those crack whores was real sexy, Dave." Mindy said from the bathroom door, reaching behind her to unzip her leather cat suit.

I looked her up and down with hot eyes, lingering on her breasts. "You're pretty sexy yourself," I told her, slowly approaching.

"Need a shower?" she asked breathlessly. My body tightened even further, urging me forward.

I glanced down at blood caked uniform and back at her as she slid her suit off of her arms and pulled it off her chest, revealing a surprise. "That was dangerous," my eyes fastened on her lace-covered breasts even as I spoke. Usually she wore an armored sports bra and nylon shorts that protected her heart and femoral arteries, but I'd bet she had left those at home to, for this trip.

She shrugged, causing her breasts to sway. "Worth the risk,"

I reached her then, and pinned her to the wall, my hands pressing hers above her head and my knee sliding up between her thighs. I lowered my mouth to her hers and kissed her hard, sweeping my tongue past her lips and her teeth to tease her tongue. She moaned and I moved my mouth lower, nibbling her jawline on my way to the intriguing lace.

I suckled her lace-covered nipple hard, the wet fabric increasing the friction against her sensitive nub. "D-Dave!" she gasped as I added the sting of my teeth. In response I looked at her underneath my lashes and shoved my leg harder lifting her to her toes and making her gasp.

I left a mark on the top of her breast and returned to nibble her ears. "Your safety should never be compromised to get me hot." I warned her. "Now get to the shower." I released her and smacked her ass as she swayed past me.

She shot me a look over her shoulder that I was playing with fire. I smiled and began to follow her, shedding my costume as I went. I loved it when she burned me.

The water was on and already steaming up the mirror when I entered the bathroom. I watched her through the opaque and steamy glass as she washed for a moment, letting the lust build before I joined her.

I stepped in behind her and crowded her against the slick wall. My hands followed the line of her lithe legs, when I reached the back of her thigh I slid my hand around and lifted it until- "AH, DAVE!" she moaned as I gave her a hard slap right over her crotch. I didn't linger there after roughly gliding my fingers through her nether lips and collecting her sticky juices. My other hand climbed her ribs and settled over her small round breasts.

"Suck" I ordered, bringing my hand to her mouth and yanking her back against my body. She rubbed her ass against my granite dick as she obeyed, hot tongue lashing my wet fingers.

My hands slid back down to her hips as I prepared to enter her from behind. She whimpered with need and began to wriggle. I slapped her ass, "be still for me, baby," I told her before shoving through her folds in one thrust. We moaned in unison and I hauled up higher so her face and chest braced against the tile and her feet climbed my legs for leverage. Her fingernails bit into my forearms as I lost myself in the soft folds of her body.

When I had been with Katie I had eventually gotten bored with her pussy and mouth, although it took me longer than I wanted to admit, but I had been with Mindy for years, and each time I took her it was as hot and tight and sexy as the first time. She had my dick trained so well that one look could get me rock hard no matter the situation. She often used it during training.

"DAVE!" she screamed as she came, convulsing in my arms. I smiled grimly and followed her over with a course shout.

She sagged against me and I held her gently for a few minutes, until the water started to cool and we hurried to wash all the grime and blood and sweat from our bodies. I usually took my time washing her hair, but I didn't have time to do more than a cursory cleaning before we started shivering under the cold water. I stepped out first and wrapped Mindy in a large fluffy towel to cover her puckered nipples. We both had work to do; there wasn't time for me to warm them in my mouth.

"We need a new water heater, babe," I told her as she knotted up her hair.

"No shit, Sherlock" she retorted, pulling on sweatpants.

We settled comfortably, her on the bed with hot chocolate and her laptop and me at the drawing desk in the corner.

"What are you working on?" I asked absently as I flipped through my sketches of our antics from the past few weeks for the next issue of our insanely popular comic.

"You'll laugh," Mindy said, "but I have to write a paper on the morality of law versus justice, for my ethics class."

I snorted into my cocoa despite her warning. "Told you," she muttered, cracking a reluctant smile.

"Please tell me you're citing evidence from modern vigilantes," I said, wiping whipped cream from my nose.

Mindy rolled her eyes, "yeah, me and the rest of the class."

I chuckled at that, and then turned my attention back to my work. It was easy for me to lose myself in the squares I filled with carefully shaded illustrations and clever rhetoric that I mostly made up.

I was careful to draw Hitgirl and Kickass different from myself and Mindy. We were very much a thorn in the NYPDs side and I knew that they had a whole department dedicated to finding out our identities and call me a rebel, but I wasn't about to help them do it.

The next hour or so passed quickly, with the sound of my pens and the clicking of Mindys fingers against her computer keys.

"Mother fucker!"

Only long practice of hiding my fear from Mindy stopped my pen from jerking at her sudden outburst. Instead, my fingers flew to the gun strapped under my table.

"What the fuck, Min?" I gasped.

"Pussy," she replied affectionately, "it's like 3 am, and I have class tomorrow."

"Don't you mean today?" I smirked, clenching my fingers to dispel their stiffness.

"Quit being a smartass and come to bed," she replied, flicking one of her knives at the light switch, plunging the room into darkness.

"Showoff," I muttered, padding over to the bed and wrapping myself around her.

"Mhmmmm," she sighed, melting into me as I felt all the tension leave my body.

I think she said something after that, but before I could register her words the exhaustion caught up with me and sleep took me.


End file.
